Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property wtfplugin_1_0::$package_slug is deprecated in /home/thevir17/public_html/ on line 23

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property Fullworks_Anti_Spam\Control\Core::$freemius is deprecated in /home/thevir17/public_html/ on line 64

Deprecated: Optional parameter $post_types declared before required parameter $location is implicitly treated as a required parameter in /home/thevir17/public_html/ on line 3783

Deprecated: Optional parameter $content declared before required parameter $function_name is implicitly treated as a required parameter in /home/thevir17/public_html/ on line 428

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property ET_Builder_Module_Paypal_Button::$fields_defaults is deprecated in /home/thevir17/public_html/ on line 1403
She Just Sees Sam - Hope in Autism

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property ET_Builder_Module_Comments::$et_pb_unique_comments_module_class is deprecated in /home/thevir17/public_html/ on line 1403

She Just Sees Sam

Sarah Broady
May 26, 2024

Mom and Sam ice cream1

I was really hopeful after such a great day yesterday. It had been a full Saturday for Sam. He went to a new soccer group (his very first!), got his hair cut, and had an ice cream date with me. It was one thing after another, and that’s a lot to process. He had a great evening too. We had family devotions that didn’t end with my husband in the fetal position wondering why our kids can’t get it together for 5-10 minutes without breaking down into fits and tears. Sam even had a bath. But then, just minutes before lights out, one shoe dropped.

Confusion over the allowances during quiet time turned that glorious day on its head. Quiet time is a period of 5-10 minutes prior to lights out when all children must be IN their beds. They can read or play quietly (hence the term, “QUIET TIME.”) But when an exception to the rule was made the other night, confusion ensued last night as he expected the same treatment. There was a lot of yelling, and a very frustrated parent who stood outside of his bedroom door, ready to throw in the towel.

This morning was going great too. I didn’t have to drag Sam out of his loft bed – not an easy feat to accomplish with a 9 year old 12 inches away from the ceiling on a thin ladder. He got up on his own. Got dressed. Ate breakfast. Nice to brothers. Followed directions without argument. He did a great job in Sunday school, thanks to a second teacher who is able to devote extra help as needed. He sang in church with gusto.

And then… the other shoe dropped. It didn’t take long once the pastor began preaching. It was just little things here and there that grew too big to ignore. “Stop kicking the pew; I’m sorry, but I can’t give you popular names that start with every letter of the alphabet while I’m trying to listen; Lower your voice; If you can’t be quiet, then I’ll have to take you out.” Except he’s insistent that he’s not loud, and is quite loud in the process.

My inner dialogue is something like, “I’m missing what the pastor is saying. He just said something that made people laugh. What was it? Oh, oh, oh, this is one of my favorite passages. And I’m missing it. I hate missing things.”

Kyle and I exchange looks – the ones that say, “I told him this is the consequence for this action; now I HAVE to act on it. But I really don’t want to;” and the response look of, “Do you want me to handle it? I’ll handle it for you. Just say the word. But we’ve got to do something.” So we did. Because as parents, you do what you have to do.

After an indeterminable amount of time had passed where my mind was completely free to focus on the sermon, Kyle returned with the boys. (Because it wasn’t just Sam who was having issues.) Several minutes later, a very penitent, tearful Sam hands me a note apologizing for his behavior, asking forgiveness and telling me he loves me. After a couple minutes of considering how sincere this note really is (because maybe it’s a form of manipulation?), I respond in kind. He leans his head on me. As I stroke his back, I know it’s over now.

But the thought in my head sighs, “Why does this have to be so hard?”

After church, a very dear friend (who also happens to be Sam’s Sunday school teacher) strikes up conversation with me. She told me how great he did in class. She’s excited to use the visual schedule I made for her class (and specifically for Sam.) I started saying how I’m just trying to put as many helps in place as possible to make Sundays as smooth as possible. But that after today, I feel like nothing works. I keep trying to have consistency, and make sure that he understands the rules and consequences ahead of time. I keep trying to stay calm. To be patient. To be understanding. But I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I can’t assume that a good day on Saturday means a continued good day on Sunday. History shows I can actually expect the opposite. But I don’t like pessimism. I keep praying and hoping and striving for the best. To lead him in the right way. And when he doesn’t go in the right way, I wonder where I went wrong.

As I talked, I sat back down crying as I hid my face with my kids’ papers from Sunday school. It was all too much. I felt her hand on my back and I heard her words. She’s not the sit-and-be-quiet type. Not usually. When she’s passionate about something, she talks. Passionately. So she’s telling me how great Sam is. How great of a mom I am. How far he’s come. How much he’s grown.

I wanted to tell her to stop talking. I don’t need the words. I can’t hear most of them anyway. Just be quiet. Just sit with me. Just let me cry. You don’t get it. You can’t understand. Please… just stop.

“I know that autism affects everything he does. I know that’s hard to deal with sometimes. But when I look at him, I just see Sam.”

She just sees Sam. And I realized in that moment that I was back in Grief 101. I knew grief was a cycle. I have written and talked before about finding yourself at any place in the cycle at any moment. Here I was. Back at square one.

But I wasn’t alone. I had a friend who could see in that moment what I couldn’t. He’s just Sam. He struggles with autism day in and day out. But he’s growing. I wouldn’t have gotten a note a year ago expressing sorrow and requesting reconciliation. Now I get one nearly every time he has a meltdown. He has professed faith in Christ, and he shows evidences of true faith. God is doing an incredible work in the life of my son.

Sometimes, the shoes drop. What a blessing it is to have someone there who helps you pick them back up. Thank you, friend. You know who you are.


Meet Sarah

Sarah is a wife and mother to three sons, one of whom has autism. She is a writer, speaker, and producer and host of A Special Hope Podcast.


Listen Now

Discovering special hope in the stories of those living with special needs, those who strive to minister to special needs families, and the God who is making all things new. Available here, or anywhere you podcast.

If you are enjoying this site and the podcast, please consider a donation of any size to contribute to the costs associated with running a website and a podcast. Any and all gifts are greatly appreciated!

How Movies Helped Me as an Autistic Person

This guest post is by Samuel Broady, a young man who was diagnosed with autism at 2 and plans to attend Columbia College Chicago. Samuel is applying for the Spring 2023 Making a Difference Autism Scholarship via the nonprofit KFM Making a Difference.

Check out Sandra’s latest release,
Unexpected Blessings:

More From This Category

Great Expectations

Great Expectations

You don't know what you don't know. And you never know what to expect.I didn't know what to expect. December 20, 2007 was the day of our...

read more
Preparing to Launch

Preparing to Launch

It’s 8:22pm on a Monday evening and I was resting my eyes on the couch (okay fine, I was taking a nap) as my husband practiced the piano. As he...

read more
Easter Episode: Redeeming Love by Anne Steele

Easter Episode: Redeeming Love by Anne Steele

Sarah talks through the hope of Easter with a reading of Anne Steele’s poem, Redeeming Love. Easter might look different this year, but we can still celebrate the Resurrection of Christ, all things new, and the hope of glory.

read more




    WOW just what I was looking for. Came here by
    searching for quest bars cheap


    My programmer is trying to convince me to move to .net from PHP.

    I have always disliked the idea because of the expenses. But
    he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using Movable-type on a variety of websites for about a year and am
    anxious about switching to another platform. I have heard good things about
    Is there a way I can transfer all my wordpress posts into it?
    Any help would be greatly appreciated!

  3. off coconut oil

    A person essentially help to make severely articles I would state.
    This is the very first time I frequented your website page and up to now?

    I surprised with the analysis you made to create this particular post incredible.
    Magnificent activity!

  4. plenty of fish dating site

    Link exchange is nothing else except it is only placing the other person’s webpage link on your page at appropriate place and other person will also do similar for you.

  5. ps4 games

    Excellent site you have got here.. It’s difficult to find quality writing like yours these days.
    I really appreciate people like you! Take care!!

  6. quest bars cheap

    you’re truly a good webmaster. The website loading pace is incredible.
    It sort of feels that you’re doing any distinctive trick.
    Moreover, The contents are masterwork. you have performed a fantastic
    task on this topic!

  7. quest bars cheap

    Have you ever considered creating an ebook or guest authoring on other sites?
    I have a blog based upon on the same information you discuss and would really like to have you share some stories/information. I
    know my readers would appreciate your work.

    If you’re even remotely interested, feel
    free to shoot me an email.

  8. quest bars cheap

    The other day, while I was at work, my sister stole
    my iPad and tested to see if it can survive a 25 foot drop,
    just so she can be a youtube sensation. My
    apple ipad is now destroyed and she has 83 views.
    I know this is totally off topic but I had to share it with someone!

  9. quest bars cheap coupon twitter

    This article presents clear idea designed for the new
    people of blogging, that in fact how to do blogging and site-building.

  10. quest bars cheap coupon twitter

    Post writing is also a excitement, if you be acquainted with afterward you can write if not it is complicated to write.

  11. ps4 games

    My partner and I absolutely love your blog and find many
    of your post’s to be precisely what I’m looking for.
    Does one offer guest writers to write content for yourself?
    I wouldn’t mind publishing a post or elaborating on some
    of the subjects you write about here. Again, awesome weblog!

  12. ps4 games

    I have been surfing online more than three
    hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours.
    It’s pretty worth enough for me. In my view, if all webmasters
    and bloggers made good content as you did,
    the web will be much more useful than ever before.

  13. ps4 games

    whoah this weblog is magnificent i like reading your
    articles. Keep up the great work! You already know, lots
    of individuals are hunting around for this information, you could aid them greatly.

  14. ps4 games

    Thanks for finally writing about >She Just Sees Sam
    – Hope in Autism <Loved it!

  15. ps4 games

    Truly no matter if someone doesn’t understand afterward
    its up to other viewers that they will help,
    so here it occurs.

  16. quest bars cheap

    Hey there! Someone in my Facebook group
    shared this site with us so I came to take a look.
    I’m definitely loving the information. I’m book-marking and will be tweeting this to my followers!
    Fantastic blog and excellent design and style.

  17. quest bars cheap

    First off I would like to say wonderful blog!
    I had a quick question in which I’d like to ask if you don’t mind.
    I was interested to know how you center yourself and clear
    your mind prior to writing. I’ve had difficulty clearing my thoughts in getting my
    ideas out. I do enjoy writing however it just seems like the
    first 10 to 15 minutes are lost just trying to figure
    out how to begin. Any recommendations or hints?


  18. quest bars cheap

    I’m gone to tell my little brother, that he should also visit this web site on regular basis to
    get updated from newest reports.

  19. ps4 games

    I like the valuable info you provide in your articles.
    I will bookmark your blog and check again here frequently.
    I am quite sure I’ll learn many new stuff right
    here! Good luck for the next!

  20. ps4 games

    Thanks for every other magnificent article. The
    place else could anyone get that kind of information in such an ideal way of writing?
    I have a presentation next week, and I am on the search for such information.

  21. ps4 games

    Peculiar article, totally what I was looking for.

  22. coconut oil

    I loved as much as you’ll receive carried out right here.
    The sketch is attractive, your authored material stylish.
    nonetheless, you command get bought an shakiness over that you wish be delivering the following.

    unwell unquestionably come further formerly again since exactly the
    same nearly very often inside case you shield this hike.

  23. coconut oil

    Quality posts is the crucial to interest the users to visit the
    web site, that’s what this website is providing.

  24. coconut oil

    I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you make this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you?
    Plz reply as I’m looking to design my own blog and would like to know where u got this from.

  25. coconut oil

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I truly appreciate your efforts and I will be
    waiting for your next post thanks once again.

  26. free trial

    Hello! Do you know if they make any plugins to help with SEO?
    I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords
    but I’m not seeing very good gains. If you know of any please share.
    Appreciate it!

  27. cialis pills for sale

    Hello, recognition you looking for word! I repost in Facebook

  28. sling tv

    Post writing is also a fun, if you know after that you can write if not it
    is difficult to write.


    It’s an amazing post in favor of all the internet users; they will
    obtain advantage from it I am sure.


    If you want to take much from this piece of writing then you have to apply these techniques to your won website.

  31. sling tv

    Wow, wonderful blog layout! How long have you been blogging for?
    you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your website is
    excellent, as well as the content!

  32. sling tv

    That is a very good tip particularly to those new to the
    blogosphere. Brief but very precise information… Appreciate your sharing this one.
    A must read post!

  33. EverettNoB

    Hello, thank you for facts! viagra vs cialis I repost in Facebook.
    generic viagra available in usa

  34. sling tv

    Why users still make use of to read news papers when in this technological globe all is existing on net?

  35. sling tv

    Attractive section of content. I just stumbled upon your blog and in accession capital to assert
    that I get actually enjoyed account your blog posts.
    Anyway I will be subscribing to your augment and even I achievement you access
    consistently quickly.

  36. PeterMub

    Hello, show one’s gratitude you looking against tidings! cialis 20mg
    best price 100mg generic viagra

  37. sling tv

    Wow, incredible weblog format! How long have you been running
    a blog for? you make blogging look easy. The entire look
    of your web site is fantastic, as well as the content!

  38. sling tv

    Thanks for the auspicious writeup. It if truth be told was a amusement account it.
    Glance complex to more delivered agreeable from you!
    By the way, how can we keep up a correspondence?

  39. WayneVix

    Cialis 5mg cialis how to take cialis

  40. sling tv

    I like the valuable info you supply to your articles. I’ll bookmark your weblog and take a look at once more here frequently.
    I am moderately sure I will be informed many new stuff right right here!
    Best of luck for the following!

  41. KelUnap

    Cialis Online Discount Zithromax Iv In Children cialis no prescription Buy Now Flagyl In Phoenix Kamagra Erectalis Cheap Generic Prevacid

  42. sling tv

    I constantly emailed this website post page to all my contacts, as if
    like to read it then my contacts will too.

  43. sling tv

    Hey there! This is kind of off topic but I need some guidance from an established blog.
    Is it very difficult to set up your own blog?

    I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out
    pretty quick. I’m thinking about making my own but I’m not
    sure where to start. Do you have any points or suggestions?
    With thanks

  44. sling tv best package 2020

    This is my first time pay a quick visit at here and i am actually pleassant to read everthing at alone place.

  45. WayneVix

    Cialis online cialis generic cialis bitcoin

  46. sling tv

    Hmm is anyone else having problems with the pictures
    on this blog loading? I’m trying to figure out if its a problem on my end or if it’s the blog.
    Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

  47. RobertBok

    cialis pill order viagra in uk cheap viagra sale online

  48. RobertBok

    cheap herbal viagra uk buy viagra jelly cheapest pharmacy cialis

  49. DeabKapy

    best place buy viagra yahoo cialis vs viagra cheap viagra jelly uk

  50. DeabKapy

    buy cheap viagra uk online average price cialis best place to order cialis online

  51. facebook marketing estratégias

    Por exemplo, o e-mail marketing pode ser uma grande oportunidade para se manter em contato com seus clientes. Confira este artigo para encontrar maneiras mais poderosas de realmente tornar seus métodos mais sensíveis às necessidades de sua base de clientes.

  52. DeabKapy

    buy viagra cheap line cialis 200mg cialis description of pills

  53. DeabKapy

    cheap viagra no prescription online how does cialis work cialis c20 pills

  54. Free Inpatient Drug Rehab Centers

    Alcohol Recovery Centers Near Me Heroin Rehab Near Me ÿþ< Faith Based Rehab Near Me Methadone Program

  55. Prevention Of Alcohol Abuse

    Drug And Rehab Genesis Drug Rehab ÿþ< Suboxone Treatment Centers Alcohol Rehab Centers

  56. Affordable Drug Rehab

    Free Outpatient Rehab Methadone Clinic Near Me ÿþ< Substance Abuse Alcohol Free Substance Abuse Treatment

  57. Drug And Mental Health Rehab

    The Best Alcohol Rehab Centers Outpatient Drug And Alcohol Treatment ÿþ< Residential Alcohol Rehab Rehabs That Take Medical

  58. Luxury Drug Rehab Centers

    Stress And Substance Abuse Drug Abuse Rehab Centers ÿþ< Drug Alcohol Treatment Outpatient Substance Abuse Near Me

  59. Drug Rehab Near Me Free

    Inpatient Drug Rehabilitation Centers Near Me Polysubstance Abuse Dsm 5 ÿþ< 30 Day Inpatient Rehab Substance Abuse Treatment Programs

  60. Substance Abuse Facility

    Substance Use & Misuse Inpatient Drug Rehab Facilities ÿþ< Drug & Alcohol Treatment Centers Residential Substance Abuse Treatment

  61. drug rehab

    Rehabilitation Center For Drug Addicts Free Inpatient Drug Rehab drug rehab centers near me Local Drug Rehabs Drug Rehab Programs Near Me

  62. DeabKapy

    cialis buy online cheap viagra sale forum cheap cialis for sale

  63. drug rehab

    Outpatient Drug Treatment Centers Near Me Drug Rehab Near Me Free drug rehab near me Women’S Inpatient Rehab Near Me Private Alcohol Treatment

  64. DeabKapy

    buy cialis 20mg online generic viagra cheapest viagra buy cheap viagra

  65. DeabKapy

    shelf life cialis pills generic cialis – buy genuine cialis online

  66. DeabKapy

    how much does cialis cost levitra online – purchase cialis online cheap

  67. DeabKapy

    discount generic cialis 20mg buy levitra online – legit cheap viagra

  68. DeabKapy

    levitra buy philippines cialis online – buy viagra jellies

  69. DeabKapy

    where to buy levitra buy levitra online – buy viagra nigeria

  70. Subutex Clinic Near Me

    In House Rehab Centers Near Me Alcohol Rehab Near Me Substance Use

  71. DeabKapy

    brand levitra sale – buy cialis order viagra overnight delivery

  72. Va Substance Abuse Programs

    Methadone Maintenance Therapy Drug Rehab Centers Near Me Residential Rehabilitation Centers

  73. Inpatient Alcohol Rehabilitation

    Alcohol Rehabilitation Center Drug Rehab Centers Free Inpatient Drug Rehab

  74. DeabKapy

    п»їviagra cheap uk – viagra without a doctor prescription cheap cialis daily

  75. cbd oil that works 2020

    I every time used to study piece of writing in news papers but now
    as I am a user of net thus from now I am using net for articles, thanks to web.

  76. DeabKapy

    buy viagra zimbabwe – buy zithromax buy cialis from india

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This