“Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, noooo!!!!” The wails started within minutes after dinner had ended. As is our habit, we waited to hear if it was over, or just beginning.
It was just beginning.
The day had gone well. I had taken Sam to a research study that was scheduled in the afternoon. For three hours, he played with clinicians for testing that helped them better understand how children’s brains with autism work. While he did that, I filled out about eight different forms about his development and current strengths and weaknesses while connecting to their WiFi and watching Netflix. I promised him a new toy if he did really well, and he worked very hard. He was paid $30 in cash for his participation, so he had money to go shopping with when he was done. (I got $10 just for filling out those forms!)
He picked out a new Lego set and skipped happily alongside me as we walked down the sidewalk of the outdoor shopping center. I held a large shopping bag in one hand, and Samuel’s hand in the other. Both of my hands were full, matching the state of my heart. I felt myself smiling inside and realized I had a giant grin on my face as we walked along. He let go of my hand, jumping around and making funny noises, and I smiled even more, delighting in my son.
It was dinner time when we arrived home and it was a peaceful meal filled with laughter and good conversation. As it wound down, Sam politely asked to be excused and cleared his dishes from the table to the sink. He hadn’t had time to put his new Lego set together before dinner, but he had opened a couple of the bags to find the minifigure parts to piece together before I realized what he was doing. We had cleaned up the pieces and put them in a sandwich baggie to store in the box, which he was now taking out in his room. That’s when the wails began.
Kyle and I looked at each other from across the table, silently exchanging the look that said, “Do we wait, or go find out what’s wrong?” Sam began to cry and wail louder, forcing me out of my seat to go to his aid. A Lego piece had fallen off his table and he couldn’t find it. I quietly told him I would help him look for it, but that he needed to calm down and take a deep breath. He continued his exaggerated breathing instead, and insisted I could not help him because I didn’t know what the piece was. He couldn’t describe it to me as not even he knew which piece it was. He didn’t know what color or shape it was, only that it was “tiny.” I told him we’d look for it anyway and assured him we would find it. But that would have to wait now, as he had entered meltdown mode. I followed our normal protocol of removing him from the situation to “take a break” until he was calm enough to go back and search.
Samuel HATES taking a break, but I know how much worse it will get if he does not first calm down, so that was my job, which required moving him away from the Legos. This did not bode well for either of us. His meltdown lasted a full hour, during which he got as close as he could to scream his loudest in my ear. His body was unstable on his bed, and I had no choice but to steady him while turning my head to lessen the audible blows – twice. A couple times, he jabbed me in the ribs with his elbow to let me know how mad he was. With a stone face so as not to reinforce his behavior, I repeated my instructions to him as I blocked his elbow with my hand.
After more severe behavior with both myself and Kyle, we had finally succeeded in physically dressing him ourselves and putting him in bed. Miraculously, he was quiet, and Kyle and I sat together on the couch in a kind of shock after what we had just gone through. Our hearts ached, and we talked through what it meant to enter his suffering with him, to love and comfort him as we speculated his likely fear and confusion in his extreme behavior. How were we to reach the heart of our child? The comfort we wanted to offer in the ways we knew how to comfort him was sent on a detour by autism. As we desperately tried to comfort ourselves and find a solution for the next time, we heard Samuel call out again.
I went to see what was wrong, and he said he was just stretching. As I turned to walk out of the room, he said, “Mom? I want to lay down with one of you guys.” I called for Kyle to come as I climbed into Sam’s bed. Kyle walked in and Sam told him he wanted us both to lay down with him for five minutes. We laid on his bed with our son sandwiched between us. Samuel turned over to lay on his stomach, and stretched out both of his arms across our backs in the shape of a “t”. After a few minutes, he told us we had one more minute and flipped over to lay on his back, still putting one hand on each of us where he no doubt was silently counting down from 60. He leaned over and kissed Kyle’s cheek, then turned and stretched to kiss me too before telling us we could go now. We told him we loved him and kissed him back and quietly closed his door as we left.
We hugged each other, trying to grasp the grace we had just experienced. I told my husband, “See? It’s going to be okay.” With tears in his eyes, he said, “No. It’s not ‘okay’…” his voice trailed off. Then with more strength, he added, “But at the same time, it is.”
This is the hope in which we walk. When the challenges and struggles of autism hit us hard, we do not despair. We continue to hope in the grace-filled moments like these where we feel and hear the whisper of God tell us that in the middle of it all, threaded through every fear and every tear, He is making all things new – little by little. He calms our fearful anxieties. He makes our tearful hearts smile. He turns the chaos to peace. He makes the struggle more beautiful because it ends with the sweet kisses of our autistic boy.
I write this not only for your encouragement, but for my own when the next meltdown happens that might not end in kisses. I write this to remind myself of the glimpses of glory I have seen with my own eyes and felt with the touches of my son’s hands and lips, that I might hope to see it again.
What glimpses of glory do you hold onto in your own struggles?
Hi Sarah! My name is Triya, I am a recent college grad and currently working on a documentary on autism and relationships! I am so interested in learning more about Sam as he continues to learn and grow! I would love to talk to you more about raising an autistic son and how life is for you and your family! Please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org!
Wow! After all I got a blog from where I be
able to really take valuable facts regarding my study and knowledge.
Thanks for finally writing about >A Glimpse of Glory – Hope in Autism <Loved it!
Good web site you’ve got here.. It’s hard to find excellent writing like yours nowadays.
I honestly appreciate individuals like you! Take care!!
Very good article. I’m experiencing some of these
issues as well..
There is certainly a great deal to learn about this subject.
I like all the points you made.
I enjoy what you guys are usually up too. This type of clever work and reporting!
Keep up the terrific works guys I’ve included you guys to
I think this is among the most significant information for me.
And i am satisfied studying your article. But wanna remark on few common issues, The web
site taste is ideal, the articles is in point of fact great
: D. Just right task, cheers
May I simply just say what a comfort to discover
somebody that truly knows what they’re talking about on the web.
You certainly understand how to bring an issue to light and make it important.
More and more people have to look at this and
understand this side of your story. I can’t believe you’re not more popular because you surely possess the gift.
I’ve been exploring for a little bit for any high-quality articles or blog posts in this kind of
area . Exploring in Yahoo I eventually stumbled upon this website.
Studying this information So i’m satisfied to show that I have an incredibly just right uncanny feeling I discovered
exactly what I needed. I most for sure will make certain to do not overlook
this site and give it a glance regularly.
Great delivery. Outstanding arguments. Keep up the amazing spirit.
Definitely believe that which you said. Your favorite
reason appeared to be on the net the easiest thing to be aware of.
I say to you, I definitely get annoyed while people
consider worries that they just do not know about. You managed to hit
the nail upon the top and also defined out the whole thing without having side effect , people can take a signal.
Will probably be back to get more. Thanks
Hey would you mind stating which blog platform you’re using?
I’m going to start my own blog soon but I’m having a tough time deciding between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal.
The reason I ask is because your layout seems different
then most blogs and I’m looking for something completely unique.
P.S Sorry for being off-topic but I had to ask!
You really make it seem so easy with your presentation but I
find this topic to be really something which I think I would never understand.
It seems too complex and extremely broad for me. I am looking forward for your next post,
I will try to get the hang of it!
I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and was wondering what all is required
to get set up? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny?
I’m not very internet savvy so I’m not 100% certain.
Any recommendations or advice would be greatly appreciated.
It’s great that you are getting ideas from this post as well as from our discussion made
at this place.
Keep on writing, great job!
Have you ever thought about adding a little bit more than just your articles?
I mean, what you say is important and everything.
Nevertheless think of if you added some great visuals or videos to give your posts more, “pop”!
Your content is excellent but with images and video clips,
this blog could definitely be one of the best in its field.
I just could not go away your web site prior to suggesting that I extremely
loved the standard information a person supply in your visitors?
Is gonna be back continuously in order to check up on new posts
I really like it when folks get together and share ideas.
Great blog, continue the good work!
I am now not sure where you are getting your information, but
great topic. I must spend some time learning much more or working out more.
Thanks for excellent info I used to be on the lookout for this information for my
Excellent web site. A lot of useful info here.
I’m sending it to several buddies ans also sharing in delicious.
And of course, thanks on your effort!
Thanks for sharing your info. I really appreciate your efforts and I
will be waiting for your further write ups thank you once again.
Have you ever thought about adding a little bit more than just
your articles? I mean, what you say is fundamental and all.
Nevertheless think about if you added some great graphics or video clips
to give your posts more, “pop”! Your content is excellent but with
images and video clips, this blog could definitely be one of the greatest in its field.
Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an extremely long comment but after I clicked submit my comment
didn’t appear. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over
again. Anyhow, just wanted to say wonderful blog!
There is certainly a lot to find out about this subject.
I really like all of the points you made.
I’m gone to tell my little brother, that he should also go
to see this blog on regular basis to take updated from hottest information.
I don’t even know the way I ended up right here, but I believed this publish was good.
I do not know who you are however definitely you’re going to a well-known blogger in case you aren’t already.
Hi! I’ve been following your website for a long time now and finally got the bravery to go ahead and give you
a shout out from Houston Texas! Just wanted to say keep up
the excellent work!
Having read this I believed it was extremely
informative. I appreciate you spending some time and effort to put this short article together.
I once again find myself spending a significant amount of time both reading and commenting.
But so what, it was still worth it!
Excellent post! We will be linking to this particularly great content on our site.
Keep up the good writing.
It’s very simple to find out any topic on net as compared to books, as
I found this article at this website.
Quality content is the key to interest the people to visit the
web site, that’s what this website is providing.
I’ve been browsing on-line more than three hours nowadays, yet I never discovered
any interesting article like yours. It is beautiful worth sufficient
for me. Personally, if all web owners and bloggers made just right content as you probably did, the net might be much more useful
than ever before.
Have you ever thought about creating an ebook or
guest authoring on other websites? I have a blog based upon on the same topics you discuss
and would love to have you share some stories/information. I know my readers
would enjoy your work. If you are even remotely interested, feel free to send me
Hi there, I discovered your website by the use of Google at the same time as looking for a similar topic, your
web site got here up, it seems to be great. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.
Hi there, just become aware of your blog via Google, and located
that it’s truly informative. I’m going to watch
out for brussels. I will appreciate in case you proceed this in future.
Many other people might be benefited from your writing.
Great post. I used to be checking continuously this blog and
I am impressed! Extremely useful information specifically the closing phase :
) I take care of such info much. I was looking for this certain information for a very long time.
Thank you and good luck.
Sun Rash With Keflex Zithromax And Amoxicillin Taken Together Zestoretic Cialis Citrus Keflex Interaction Propecia Propiedades Vente De Cialis En France
Hi there, I want to subscribe for this weblog to take
most recent updates, therefore where can i do it please assist.
Thanks designed for sharing such a good thought, piece of writing is good, thats why i
have read it entirely
Priligy Gratis cialis 5 mg Viagra Phizer Viagra Ersatz Rezeptfrei Cialis E Psicofarmaci
Hi there would you mind stating which blog platform you’re using?
I’m planning to start my own blog soon but I’m having a
tough time making a decision between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal.
The reason I ask is because your layout seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something completely unique.
P.S My apologies for being off-topic but I had to ask!
rehab works long term rehab centers near me rehabilitation center logo
Alcohol Rehabilitation Facilities Suboxone Program ÿþ< Substance Abuse Among Nurses Substance Abuse Center
Bay Cove Methadone Clinic Non 12 Step Rehab ÿþ< Drug & Alcohol Treatment Centers Drug And Alcohol Inpatient Treatment Centers
Suboxone Program Inpatient Drug And Alcohol Treatment ÿþ< Subutex Clinic Near Me Springfield Methadone Clinic
Inpatient Drug And Alcohol Treatment State Funded Drug Rehab ÿþ< Private Drug Rehab Inpatient Drug Treatment Programs
Substance Abuse Alcohol Best Drug And Alcohol Treatment Centers ÿþ< Residential Substance Abuse Treatment Meth Rehab Centers
Inpatient Drug Rehab Medicaid Opioid Rehab Centers Near Me ÿþ< Drug Rehab Outpatient Substance Abuse Treatment
Drug And Alcohol Rehabilitation Center Couples Rehab ÿþ< Mens Rehab Near Me Cornerstone Drug Rehab
Drug Rehab Near Me Free Dsm 5 Substance Use Disorder Powerpoint drug rehab centers Genesis Drug Rehab Substance Abuse Powerpoint
Local Drug Rehabilitation Centers Closest Methadone Clinic drug rehab near me Substance Abuse Treatment And Family Therapy Alcohol Abuse Disorder Dsm 5
Emergency Drug Rehab ï»¿http://aaa-rehab.com Drug Rehab Centers Near Me ï»¿http://aaa-rehab.com Local Alcohol Rehab Centers
Alcohol Abuse Programs ï»¿http://aaa-rehab.com Drug Rehab Centers ï»¿http://aaa-rehab.com Polysubstance Abuse Dsm 5
I know this website gives quality depending posts and other information,
is there any other site which offers these kinds of stuff in quality?
generic cialis http://genericalis.com/