Guilt and Competition

Guilt and Competition

  My son Samuel was diagnosed with autism at 28 months old. He was mostly non-verbal, except for when he scripted his favorite movie lines or spelled out letters he saw on signs. He had no meaningful communication and he screamed a lot. He repeatedly banged his...
The Special-Needs Scrim

The Special-Needs Scrim

The sanctuary was dark. The air was thick with grief, tension, and anticipation of what we all knew was coming next. But nothing prepared me for what my eyes were about to behold. I was watching our church’s Easter pageant from the middle of the large auditorium. We...
Remembering the Christmas Diagnosis

Remembering the Christmas Diagnosis

Seven years ago today, I took Samuel to the Kansas City Regional Center to meet with a psychologist for autism testing “just to rule it out.” Instead, we left with an official diagnosis of moderate/severe classic autism. He was constantly scripting with no...
She Just Sees Sam

She Just Sees Sam

I was really hopeful after such a great day yesterday. It had been a full Saturday for Sam. He went to a new soccer group (his very first!), got his hair cut, and had an ice cream date with me. It was one thing after another, and that’s a lot to process. He had...
Just for Today

Just for Today

Today, my son still has autism. Every day for the rest of his life, he will have autism. But today, or rather right now, I don’t want to dwell on the difficulties autism brings and will bring when he comes home from school at the end of the day. I don’t want to wish...

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